‘there’s nic away to be sick’
You never know the battles and struggles people face….nobody can really understand a disability when they can’t see it.
frustrated with my health I thought I would share my story.
Write about what you know….this is what I know, I was born without being able to swallow. If you are a man reading this that will get your attention! So much so that if my mother had fed me like they suggested I may not be here to tell this.
I was immediately rushed to surgery to reattach my esophagus to my stomach, pulling my stomach up into my chest. This allowed me to eat….but not without complications. Stretching something causes a narrowing so it means that when eating, sometimes food gets stuck! What gets stuck must come out!
As such spent a great deal of my childhood throwing up to get stuck food out. You would think this would put me off food but no, not me…my eyes were bigger than my belly!
School was tough….
Halfway through my homemade packed lunch l would have to run off and throw up. Kids are actually less ‘judgy’ than adults. They just accepted that it was ‘nic away to be sick’.
When will I get boobs mum?
I am still waiting for these boobs. I just wanted curves and to fit into a pair of jeans. I was painfully thin and struggled to put weight on. I always remember a man asking my Mum if I was bulimic?
How very dare HE I started getting very angry and frustrated with people commenting on my weight. A teacher once took me around the whole school at primary (after returning from being off sick) asking people to feed me biscuits because I was looking so unwell.
It would never have happened now. Pure ignorance!! Back in the 90’s people could comment like that and it was not the snowflake society we live in now.
Moving to my teen years and going out to the pubs….what would happen when meeting boyfriends? Would my scars turn them off? boys can be very shallow that’s all I will say.
It’s upsetting for me that I regularly miss events as I don’t keep well. I don’t want to be left behind because I am always unwell. Thankfully I have a great group of friends around me. My family are always there at the drop of a hat when I need anything. I am so thankful for this.
The impact the sticking food had on my lungs was horrific. constant chest infections, pneumonia pleurisy.
At 2 I had a punctured lung and surgery to correct this. Spending a lot of time in accident and emergency rooms, waiting hoping the doctor will understand my condition. I am one in a very small group. As such I have to explain to them my condition and what I think they should check for.
Lucky me eh….I do not do things by halves. Every time I went for lunch or dinner the first thing I would be looking for was the toilet. I still do this to avoid any awkward moments.
Over the years it has got easier to handle. Although regular chest issues are causing a struggle with my everyday life. I will never run a marathon thats for sure. I love singing and dancing though I hope that I will always be able to do this!
‘Wonder if I will meet someone to share my life with that will ‘get me’ and appreciate the problems I face.
In sickness and in health….
Meeting Michael was a huge turning point for me.
He didn’t judge, he was there every step of the way. We now have 2 beautiful boys together and cannot stress enough how lucky I am to have them. I enjoy them every day I count my lucky stars. These 3 are my strength and I will keep fighting, even in my darkest moments.
There will be more procedures and bumps along the road but bring it! I am a strong little woman.
I don’t know what the future holds so I am going to live my BEST life.
Remember you never know what battles people may be facing…be kind and understanding.
To all the mummies with disabilities soldiering through to provide for their babies.
I salute you.